I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
