im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
