Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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