mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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