How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
