I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
