So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
