Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
