covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I looked at my own cervix.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
