I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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