Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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