Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
