i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
okay pat passed out under dana's car
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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