you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
