So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
