Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
