love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
