Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
