i think i have two assholes
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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