Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
