no, he came in my armpit
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
