That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
