So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
