Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
