Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
