Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
