Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I am morally bankrupt
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
