You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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