Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
