Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You took a bar mat shot.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
