Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
