Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
