Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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