He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
