she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
