I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
