sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i've created a new STD.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
