ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
