covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
