Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
