i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I met the friendliest cop last night
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize