True but thats because hes a fetus.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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