you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
