Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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