508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
