About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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