dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
