It's Friday. Sex?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
