Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
