she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
