it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
